2019 is the year that my marriage broke up. 2019 is the year that my daughter no longer woke up in the same house as me every day. 2019 is the year that I lost my job. 2019 is the year that Mom found out she had breast cancer. 2019 is the year that Dad found out he had fibrosis in his lungs. Fuck 2019.
I’m not sure how long we spent sitting in that driveway. I’m not even sure what age my brother and I were. I know it was late morning or maybe early afternoon. I know that the house was somewhere in the rural area between Memphis and Millington. I know that the house was at the end of a long driveway and that there was a gate at the entrance. I know we were bored as hell sitting in Dad’s awful, mustard yellow Ford Maverick.
Just two weeks ago, I know exactly how this day would have gone. Two weeks ago, Samantha would have come into our bedroom as soon as she woke up and said she wants to watch a movie. I would kiss her on her forehead, tell her good morning, and start looking for the remote. Nicole would groggily tell her to go to the bathroom first. I’d get out of bed and go to the bathroom with her.
Halting and Random Thoughts on an Old Job
Random thoughts about an old job that I sort of still have. I’ve changed names, just in case. I don’t want to piss anyone off. It’s also in a halting style. Each paragraph is less than 280 characters because I was going to post it all on micro.blog but I decided I didn’t want to spam anyone. Years ago I worked for a 180 person consulting firm in the ERP space.
Hope for a Self-Loathing Kid
I’ve always loved music, but I can pinpoint exactly when music became “more” for me. In 1984, when I was 13, my Aunt Pat was visiting my family in Columbus, GA and she and my Mom were going out shopping. Aunt Pat knew I liked music and offered to purchase me a 45. I told her I wanted either Love Somebody by Rick Springfield or Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen.